When I was a kid, I used to watch The Muppet Show.

On that show, there was a group that performed called Mummenschanz.

They wore these black body suits that covered their entire body, and sometimes they had toilet paper for their eyes. They would mime situations where they would laugh or cry, and they would unroll their toilet paper eyes.

Sometimes they had faces made of clay, and they would squish them into different shapes.

They were creepy as hell and would scare the shit out of me.

After the arms and legs, after the police came and took them away, it was very late in the day, and I was exhausted, I fell asleep. I woke up in the early hours of Saturday morning.

My mind was racing, so I stepped outside my back door to get some air. I breathed in deep, let it out, looked up, and he was there.

“Did you get my present?” he asked, and he laughed that creepy laugh.

He morphed into one of the toilet paper people, and in the background, music started playing, ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You,’ by Frankie Valli.

He started dancing to the music and unrolling his toilet paper eyes.

I turned to the back door, opened it, and went inside.