Edna awoke to a dark and stormy Saturday morning. She was rested, but still a little tired.

She was reading The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty before bed. After waking, she discovered the book, her phone, and her glasses had fallen off her dresser and onto the floor.

“What happened last night?” Edna asked while rubbing her forehead.

Before she went to bed the night before, Edna remembered, she lit some incense in the bathroom and took a nice hot luxurious bubble bath.

She put in her headphones and listened to a podcast while she soaked, and also played a game on her phone. While soaking, she dropped her vape in the tub.

“God dammit,” she said and pulled the vape from the soapy water.

She shook it, then pushed the button and blew out through the top, and water came out of the vape.

“Crap,” she said.

Then Edna turned the temperature on the vape up as high as it would go, then pressed the button and let it heat up for the longest time the vape would allow.

Turning the temperature back down, she used the vape, and it was good. No moisture left. Edna looked around the bathroom, vape smoke and incense smoke hung in the air like an ominous cloud.

“I guess I’d better get out,” she said.

Edna wrapped herself in the large beach towel she bought from Walmart years ago and claimed as hers, left the bathroom, and went to lie down in her bed.

She started to adjust the bed to the zero gravity setting, and a beeping started sounding; she could hear it over her headphones.

“What did you do now?” Dan asked.

“I don’t know,” Edna replied. “Is that the bed?”

“No,” Dan said. “It’s the smoke detectors in the hallway.”

“Oh,” Edna said. Sudden realization hit her: the incense, the vape, the smoke-filled bathroom. “I know what it is, I’ll fix it.”

Edna got out of bed. She went to the living room to get the big fan. The one she stares at every day and thinks I should clean that fan. But she couldn’t remember which plug powered the fan.

‘There are two power strips there,’ she thought. ‘Which one is it plugged into?’

She unplugged the top one, which took out the T.V. ‘Dammit, that’s the wrong one.’

She struggled to plug that one back in because while her desk is there, and her desk is open in the back, the plug sits just behind a support bar that runs the length of the desk.

The beeping continues, and Edna decides maybe I should just follow the cord of the fan. She finds where it’s plugged, lugs it to the bathroom door, and just before she gets it plugged in, the smoke detectors turn off.

‘Assholes,’ Edna thinks, cursing the inanimate smoke detectors.

Back in bed, Dan says, “Whatever you did knocked out the internet.”

His cop show is frozen on the TV. Edna laughs and says, “Yeah, I unplugged the wrong plug, which unplugged the modem.”

She turns off the TV and turns it back on, TAH DAH! It’s fixed.

‘Now,’ Edna thinks, ‘how does that explain all of her things being on the floor this morning?’

It doesn’t, but it makes a good story.

Have a good Saturday!