I was thinking yesterday while I was cleaning how much better I feel now that I write everyday.

I’m still stressed, because stress is unavoidable, I’m still worried about money because who isn’t but now it doesn’t affect me as much as it did before.

I guess because I feel like I’m being heard by someone other than the people I’m around everyday. There were weeks where I didn’t write anything and I missed it, I would think I have an hour right now I can write in my journal, but I didn’t and then I felt awful, like I was letting my soul down or something.

Also I was a mess and couldn’t think clearly. I feel like writing every morning gets the clutter of thoughts out at the beginning of the day and I can make better decisions.

Another decision I made and this may sound silly to some people was to push the pause button on knitting and crochet. I just couldn’t find the joy in them like I did before. I would find a pattern that I thought would be so cool to wear, get halfway through and have absolutely no desire to finish.

I started to crochet because I thought that maybe I was bored with knitting, but after about a month the interest in that faded also.

This was a huge decision for me because so much of my time in my past was consumed by both crafts. Knitting more than crochet because I taught myself how to do that first, and I did at one time really enjoy knitting.

I made sweaters and hats and some blankets. I enjoyed the wonder people had when I would wear something I made and people were amazed that the item was handmade, but inevitably someone would want me to make something for them, and it was always a blanket.

Then they would balk at the price I would quote for them, even after they said they would pay for the huge 6 foot man sized blanket they wanted me to make for them.

I mean, I don’t make a whole lot of money, I have to charge for materials and my time making something by hand for you, I’m not being mean or entitled like someone called me once because I told them I was going to charge $250 for a blanket they wanted. That was after I explained that the yarn they asked me to make the blanket from was over $100, then they called me entitled.

I may go back to it, but for now, I am going to just relax and focus on something else.

Speaking of which, I made progress on my picture yesterday.

Just back lines over the lines I drew for in between the bricks, I wanted to finish the whole thing but, I was interrupted.

First, I got to the bottom there when my youngest came in my room in his full uniform. I didn’t know he was supposed to work yesterday.

‘Mother,’ he said.

‘Child,’ I replied.

Then noticing he had on his full uniform,

‘You have to work today?’

‘Yes,’ he said.

‘Did I know you had to work today?’ I asked.

‘No,’ he said.

‘Did you pick up a sift?’ I asked.

‘No,’ he said.

‘You were scheduled?’ I asked.

‘Yes,’ he said.

‘So you didn’t tell me?’ I asked.

‘No,’ he said.

So I stopped and took him to work.

When I got home my oldest son had woken up from a nap, my oldest son is non-verbal autistic. His eye was swollen and he couldn’t open it, it wasn’t like that earlier in the day. He was awake when I was yesterday so I made him help me clean.

After careful inspection we determined he had a stye and I had him get in the shower, then we went to CVS and bought some stye treatment for him. After that I made dinner, we all ate, I went back to my bedroom to work on my picture but laid down in my bed instead. Then I fell asleep.

It’s a good thing my youngest called my middle son to pick him up from work instead of me because I didn’t wake up until after 10 p.m.

Well, that is all for me, today I am going to keep an eye on my oldest son’s eye, and of course work on my picture.

Everyone enjoy your Sunday. Sorry today was a long one, I don’t blame you for not reading all of it, if you do, thank you.