If you have been reading my journal entries you already know I am trying to consistently write in my journal every day. Each morning just after I wake up I write on that day’s journal page. I have tried to keep up this practice for several years and have not done such a great job, in 2024 February 8, was the last day I wrote in my journal so this week there won’t be any 2024 entries. There are some later in 2024 but by the end of June I had stopped completely.

Here is February.

Monday February 10, 2025

I need to look over my moms finances today. She is consistently saying someone is stealing her money. I don’t know where she is getting this information, but I do know every time she gets mail that is an advertisement for say home owners insurance or a car warranty she thinks it’s a bill. Then she comes out to me and says she never signed up for it, and she is not going to pay it, I always tell her it’s not a bill and a few days later it happens again. Don’t get me started on her cat, I can’t go there today. So today I will look, or at least attempt to look, at her bank account and just make sure all is well. I woke up early with this on my mind and since it is there, I won’t be able to stop thinking about it until I do something. I think I will have to do some serious password changes and email account changing to make this possible Mom won’t be able to help me with this at all. She is not doing well and honestly just does not remember.

Tuesday February 11, 2025

My brain is overloaded, I have so much I need to do, this happens around this time every year. I get so sad. I absolutely do not want that to happen this year so, I have to keep moving. It just seems like everything hits me all at once. What my mom is going through. My sons, my mom, selling my moms house. All of it just come at me, it’s hard sometimes to be everyone’s everything, and do everything your are supposed to do to keep every thing going. If every one relies on you, who do you rely on? Who do you talk to? Who helps you? It feels like no one does, and those who think they are helping sometimes add on more things. It’s a lot and never gets easier. I don’t know why people tell people with young children that it gets easier because it doesn’t. I always tell them nothing is easy that child will calm down sure, but you will always worry about them and do things for them. Life is never easy.

Wednesday February 12, 2025

This week is passing kind of quick. It’s already Wednesday. It is supposed to get really cold and I don’t think there will be any ice but it rained last night pretty good. I woke up and heard a loud rumble of thunder I thought about the story I’m writing and then I went back to sleep. I’m going in an hour early for the rest of the week because I left early on Monday. I only have three days left to get through. I really would just like to curl in a ball and go back to sleep though, I am so tired. Next week I am going to feel so much better. I just don’t right now. I think my pens ink is running out while I write this and it shouldn’t be because I just started using this pen. I got another pen, but it isn’t any better, UGH. Anyway next week I will feel much better. I’ve just got to finish this week. February is never a good month for me.

Thursday February 13, 2025

I am wiped out this week. It has been one hell of a week but at least I had a break from driving harry around. I am ready to go out and finance a car for him so he can drive himself. He needs a license though so I would have to also pay for drivers ed, so maybe I won’t do all that. My teeth hurt I need to go to a dentist. I started getting gaps in between my teeth that were never there before. Food gets stuck in them and it hurts. I also need to go to the eye doctor. I really need new glasses. It’s just another thing I have to do all on my own, I need an assistant. All of that and Brianna’s baby is due soon. We are going to Kansas over a weekend when that happens and Dan thinks we will be out sight seeing or something. I guess maybe he wants a vacation we haven’t had one in a while so I understand. I want to spend time with the baby though.

Friday February 14, 2025

I’m glad it’s Friday. I left work early on Monday so I came in early the rest of the week to make it up, today is the last day I have to do that thank God. I also have a nasty headache this morning. We are going to take some Alleve and hope that knocks it out. My pens I have suck. They are these Pilot get pens and were kind of pricey but they don’t last long. I started writing in my journal with a light blue one and it is running out, so I switched to a pink one and that one ran out. So now I have a green Sharpie pen. Hopefully this one writes for at least one day. Otherwise I am going to have to write in pencil. If all of the pen drama isn’t enough my robot vacuum decided the brushes needed to be cleaned and then I had to empty it’s bin. I’ve been up for 30 minutes and I’m already struggling and my kids are still sleeping. Thank God it’s Friday. Hopefully it goes quick.

Saturday February 15, 2025

Yesterday when I got up I had a terrible headache and when I turned my head any direction I got really dizzy. I had to keep getting up too, because my pens stopped working and my robot vacuum got stuck. Then I threw up and was better. It was so weird. I was somewhat fine the rest of the day but just tired. So tired I slept pretty much all night after work. I don’t remember anything after 8 pm I was exhausted. So thank goodness it’s the weekend. I can take a couple of days to be still and relax and go back to work on Monday strong. I also want to sit in my room and write today. I need to work on my story a little and I also need to make sure it’s written in a perspective that is consistent. That is harder than I thought. I used to post stories on a website but everyone on that site wanted to be a writer so they were very harsh and cruel. So I don’t anymore.

Sunday February 16, 2025

I slept late today. It’s been a minute since I woke up at 8 am. Last night I took Harry to work at 5 pm then I took a nap, then I started to make dinner and Harry called at 8:30 p and said he was done. So I went and got him. I wanted to get caught up on one of the shows I watch called ‘Yellow Jackets.’ If you haven’t watched it, it’s about a high school girls soccer team on their way to an all state championship when their plane crashes and they are stranded in the wilderness for two years. This season just like the last two we are finding out more about what happened while they were there, but this time someone is trying to kill them all. Most of them have died already. I think it might be their coach. He left the group of girls to survive on his own. I think that maybe when they are rescued he gets left there. We shall see.